Top 10 Reasons
To Be Indian

 


The Number 10 reason to be Indian is...

    You don't have to buy sunscreen products.

The Number 9 reason to be Indian is...

You can wear fur and feathers without being criticized, because no Indians are wealthy enough to buy luxury goods.

The Number 8 reason to be Indian is...

You can join a tribe (50,000 to choose from!), become a ward of the government and live on a reservation (open-air prison).

The Number 7 reason to be Indian is...

You can go to parks, national forests, deserts and reservoirs for FREE! Hey, it's your land, isn't it? Just kidding!

The Number 6 reason to be Indian is...

Your history is written for you.

The Number 5 reason to be Indian is...

Burial benefits:  Your ancestors' bones are housed for ever and ever in university archives and museums at no cost to the descendants.

The Number 4 reason to be Indian is...

You will have sports teams named in your honor.

The Number 3 reason to be Indian is...

The Federal Government takes care of you (and how!).

The Number 2 reason to be Indian is...

You can cut work any day of the year and tell them it was a Native American holiday...that is, if you HAVE work.

And the NUMBER 1 reason is...

YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY AT LEAST ONCE A DAY THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE TO EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE WHAT KIND OF INDIAN YOU ARE, HOW MUCH, AND WHICH PART.